Cautionary Tales for Adolescents: Miss Tina Crumb who met her end from chewing gum

Avoid the Fate of Tina Crumb

Who loved to chew on Chewing Gum.

As Muscles in her Face Rotated

It made her Parents Irritated,

But they’d been told by Dr Hayes

‘Don’t Rise to it, it’s just A Phase.’

 

But when that Gum had lost its Taste

She did not seek a Bin for Waste,

But Secretly, if she wor able,

Stuck Balls of Gum beneath the Table

Till some adhered to Aunty Hilda –

On her Best Dress – she would have Killed Her.

 

But Mother, seeing t’ Situation

Banned forthwith Gum Mastication,

And Banished Tina to her Room –

A Punishment that Sealed her Doom!

For Tina had a Secret Hoard

And Chewed on it when she wor Bored.

 

And in Self Pity Tina Wallowed

Two Dozen Sticks of Gum she Swallowed!

But Chewing Gum, each time we Swallow

Fills up bits that should be Hollow.

And after her Unhealthy Feast

Miss Tina Crumb was quite Deceased.

 

The Doctor told her Tearful Mum,

‘Her Innards are Gummed Up , by Gum!

 

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