Avoid the Fate of Tina Crumb
Who loved to chew on Chewing Gum.
As Muscles in her Face Rotated
It made her Parents Irritated,
But they’d been told by Dr Hayes
‘Don’t Rise to it, it’s just A Phase.’
But when that Gum had lost its Taste
She did not seek a Bin for Waste,
But Secretly, if she wor able,
Stuck Balls of Gum beneath the Table
Till some adhered to Aunty Hilda –
On her Best Dress – she would have Killed Her.
But Mother, seeing t’ Situation
Banned forthwith Gum Mastication,
And Banished Tina to her Room –
A Punishment that Sealed her Doom!
For Tina had a Secret Hoard
And Chewed on it when she wor Bored.
And in Self Pity Tina Wallowed
Two Dozen Sticks of Gum she Swallowed!
But Chewing Gum, each time we Swallow
Fills up bits that should be Hollow.
And after her Unhealthy Feast
Miss Tina Crumb was quite Deceased.
The Doctor told her Tearful Mum,
‘Her Innards are Gummed Up , by Gum!