(A retired Headteacher, my friend Lin, told me that OFSTED no longer give schools a ‘Satisfactory’ grade. I wondered how this would work out in other areas of life. This is a SONG! You’ll know the tune if you are au fait with the pizzicato tune from the ballet Sylvia, by Delibes…as I am sure you are.)
Richard Perkins, most parts working,/Looking for late romance,/Joined a Dating Agency/Met Marjory Dexter, Schools Inspector/She gave ratings after datings, in 5 categories!
Your manners and opinions I endorse: Grade 4s!
Your country house and cars deserve applause: more 4s!
But Sex was only satisfactory: Grade 3!
So really, Richard, don’t start boasting,
Friends agree that you’ve been coasting,
On this website, I am hosting!
If we should date again by any chance, Dickie!
You really ought to think of ambience, Dickie!
So stoke my fires down below,
You’ll never make my embers glow,
By playing tracks by Barry Manilow, Dickie!
Marjory Dexter, Schools Inspector,/ Thank you for your ratings in all 5 categories./ You say our mating was deflating/ Satisfaction calls for action,/ But you’re hard to please!
Though you’ve got charms I find hard to resist, Marjory!
Every move I made you ticked a list, Marjory!
And then you put on T’Ride o t’ Valkyries, Marjory!
And it did not increase my pleasure:
Contemplating parts I treasure,
When you took out your tape measure!
Your website says that you admire Restraint, Marjory!
But when I saw your whip, I felt quite faint, Marjory!
At bravery I’m not a champ,
I draw the line at Nipple Clamps,
In fact I’m satisfied I scored Grade 3, Marjory!